My summer off is quickly coming to a close. I thought I'd ease back into the working-stiff lifestyle by coming into the office on Sunday. I could dig through the emails & get urgent paperwork out of the way, so that when I would start up in earnest, I might be more relaxed and have some time to chit-chat with my colleagues. Then it hit me: I'm in such big trouble.
I haven't spoken to anyone from the office since "the affair" went public. Of all those condolences emails I was getting, none were from my most immediate colleagues. Most of these people are the ones I would sneak out of the office with to see candidates, or bug to come to an event or phone banking. Many of them teased me (mostly good-naturedly) about my loyalty to JRE, and many of them supported Obama. Quite a few came along down the Edwards road with me, mostly because they too were impressed with policies and accessibility. Or lazy enough just to say "if you like him this much, and you follow these things, your judgement must be sound, therefore, I like him too." That's where I get a little weirded out.
I insist that I am proud of my involvement and support of Edwards, and don't regret it one bit. I did my homework, and was happy with all the answers I got. (Maybe I never asked the right exact question, but I did pretty extensive research.) I agreed with 99% of what he said, which is pretty good for any candidate. I loved that policy booklet JRE's team released. I loved that he was endorsed by NHFT Coalition. I loved how the staff welcomed me and how accessible everyone was. I refuse to be ashamed of my support. It was a great experience, regardless of the outcome.
But I am haunted by two things, both from fellow bloggers. One is a question from Joe, "But what if he HAD clinched the nomination? Where would we be now??" And the other is from my friend Mary, who posted on her blog that she should have listened more to her Obama-supporting friends and not trusted JRE (or supporters like me who trusted him). Ouch.
Anyway, I worried about returning to work for nothing: first day back & not a word. Is it a case of "this too shall pass" or are they being kind (and pitying me?)? Maybe it's easier for folks to say this stuff via email and blogs, and in person they are a bit more cautious/polite/reserved. Or maybe everyone is just actually concentrating on work.
For once, I am enjoying the silence. I'm sure it won't last when the students return.
